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Bart Simpson likes it!

"This very personal account of one young woman's journey is gripping and in-your-face. Smith "talks" right to you, as if you are there with her, at the raves, at the clubs and with her "friends". Don't doubt for one minute that it is impossible to actually "change" your life with one decision. Smith did and anyone who is lost and desperately in need of help can too. You just have to decide."

- Nancy Cartwright, voice of Bart Simpson and author of My Life as a Ten Year-Old Boy

1st page of My Book: Am I Dead?

As I rise from the couch, something inside my mind snaps. My thoughts begin to race as I fight for air. Am I having a heart attack? I stare at the bodies around me. How the hell did I get here? Everything seems strangely familiar. My skin begins to itch. I stagger into the bathroom and plunge my fingers down my throat. Nothing.
I plead to Mason. "Get me out of this. Make it stop, please."
From the stunned look on his face he has no idea what is manifesting inside of me. Neither do I.
"Have a cigarette" mutters Sara, "get some rest".
They don’t give a shit about me. The last thing in the world I can do is rest. I pace frantically in my bedroom, changing in and out of clothes believing it will alter my state. I stumble into my pajamas, clench my eyes, and plead for sleep. My heart feels like it’s beating for a thousand people. The decay of the apartment charges through my nostrils as I inhale months of cigarette smoke that clings to the walls. My head throbs with confusion. Voices, footsteps, and sirens scream in my ears. I begin to pray, something I have not done in years. I have deprived myself of so many things that I once loved. I want to fall asleep instantly, wake up, and feel normal …whatever the fuck that is. If I could just split my skull open and reach inside to turn the switch off, I could make it stop. This is Hell. I suddenly glimpse myself from above. I must be dying. Am I dead?

Book Description

Growing up in small-town Pennsylvania, Lynn Marie Smith was a straight-A student and a straight-arrow girl. None of her classes, though, had prepared her for the Manhattan fast lane. After moving to the city to pursue her acting ambitions, Lynn Marie rapidly slipped headfirst into a new life style. She tried pot, acid, and cocaine, but it was the party drug Ecstasy that finally ensnared her. Seduced by the drug, she stopped auditioning and began a five-month binge, popping pills and dancing all night long until she was nearly paralyzed by piercing headaches and attacks of paranoia. Finally, a harrowing hallucination drove her to make a desperate call for help. This terrifying memoir exposes the hellish underside of the "love drug."

Latest Reviews

"A fervent cautionary tale…The book’s greatest strength is its alarming passages about coming down from a high and about the emptiness of living for the next pill-popping moment."
-Publishers Weekly

"Her descriptions of how good the highs feel are riveting…likely to be a hit with teenagers and 20-somethings."
-Kirkus Reviews

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Lynn Marie Smith has written a gripping narrative that is both intensely personal and yet also very informative. From beginning to end, Lynn's brave and unflinching examination of herself, her actions, and the mistakes that led her from a straight-A cheerleader at school to a crazed, half-dead drug addict shows us the kind of determination and fight it took for this young woman to stay clean. In the end, the hardness of her drug tale is lifted by her honesty and spunk, and love of family, friends, and life."
-- Loung Ung, author of Lucky Child

"Rolling Away is sensitive and bold....it speaks to anyone who ever wanted to pop that pill (or did) and got bound up in that toxic love affair. Bravo to Lynn Smith for getting out of it and channeling her fears and passions into thoughtful and revelatory prose."
-- Jenny Lauren, author of Homesick

"I wish that all aspiring party girls would read Rolling Away, Lynn Marie Smith's cautionary tale, to understand how damaging and empty drug abuse really is."
-- Lizzie Simon, author of Detour

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